About Me

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I'm Kyle, and I forget when I start my laundry. Also, I am a small human being and apparently a college student. I laugh a lot - usually in my brain, and usually when nobody else laughs. Oh, and I've probably consumed more Skittles than any other human being on planet earth.
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Excuse Me While I Sing to the Sky

Saturday, January 5, 2013


Slow down. I'm tired of listening.

It's nothing personal really, sometimes it just gets old.

And it's not that I'm actually tired of listening to you, that's not it at all - what you have to say is important to me - very important, in fact, and I really appreciate your willingness to share it.

I'm tired of not being heard.

I've discovered a pattern, and I'd like to share it with you. You may read all of this and decide it was a tremendous waste of your time, or that I simply spend too much time thinking, or that I don't know anything at all. And that's alright - I won't be upset, and I won't even judge you. But if you'd at least think about it, that'd be great. I'll be writing (obviously) from my point of view, and speaking for myself because, of course, I can't speak for anybody else. But I am willing to bet that there are other quiet, maybe a little awkward, introverted people who feel the same way, and have had similar experiences.

Now, I don't talk a whole lot, that's a fact. I'm not a man of many words, I don't need to be heard to feel validated or important, and I don't need to constantly hear the sound of my own voice. You may think I've already contradicted myself, but bear with me. I have been informed, many times, that my silence, my lack of speaking, my quietness (I don't know why I'm rewording it so many times, you know what I mean) makes some people uncomfortable - it makes them feel awkward, or it makes them feel like I'm judging them, or that I hate them. Well - I'm sorry, I'm not, and I don't.

Now that we've cleared that up, let me teach you a few things. These may only be true of me, and no other quiet person that you know, but here they are.

The fact that I'm quiet does not mean I have nothing to say, the fact that I'm quiet almost always has nothing to do with any sort of awkwardness (at least on my part, maybe it makes you feel incredibly awkward..I guess you'll have to deal with that one), and the fact that I'm quiet does not mean I don't understand what you are saying or what is going on around me.

What does my silence mean? Well, it means that I'm paying attention, that I'm listening, and that I'm learning. You should try it sometime. Seriously. I'm very confident in saying that I can learn more about the world and the people around me in a day by primarily listening and paying attention, than you can by primarily talking. You might be amazed.

So why am I writing all of this? Well, because of this little pattern that I've noticed. You see, I've made it a goal of mine to focus on those around me more, and to focus on myself less. In working toward this goal, I've made it a point to talk less and listen more - I've found it's pretty easy to dominate a conversation, but I've also found it to be counterproductive, so I try not to. But in doing so, I've noticed that when you make it a priority to give voice to another, you run the risk, at times, of losing your own.

And I'm not ready for that.

I'm not ready to lose my voice because there are times that I actually have something to say. I'm not willing to lose my voice because, believe it or not, I have things to say that you need to hear. I'm tired of not being heard because that which you won't hear is, at times, exactly what you need to hear, and the assumption that my silence is an indication of indifference, ineptitude, or just general awkwardness not only negatively affects me, it does so to you as well. In short, I'm not ready to lose my voice because I have a voice, and really, that's reason enough.

(This is basically how I feel at times. Poor, picked on me..)

"A voice is such a deep, personal reflection of character."
- Daniel Day-Lewis

I guess what I'm really getting at is this - it might be wise for you, for all of us, from time to time, to take a deep breath, slow down, and remember we're surrounded by people, all of whom have voices. Take some time to listen. Take some time to learn. You might be surprised to realize that even the quiet people, the awkward people, and the introverts all have things to say, to share, and to teach. So try it - take some time to be still, to be silent, and to listen.

It is clear to me that we underestimate the value of a voice - of our own voices, and the voices belonging to those around us, and it's time to stop. It is important to be heard, and it is just as important to hear. Tom Hiddleston, of Thor fame, is quoted as saying, "For myself, for a long time...maybe I felt inauthentic or something, I felt like my voice wasn't worth hearing, and I think everyone's voice is worth hearing. So if you've got something to say, say it from the rooftops." 

So excuse me while I sing to the sky, and speak from the rooftops. 

And join me in realizing that every voice, no matter how small, or how silent, is worth hearing.

"The voice of intellect is a soft one, but it does not rest until it has gained a hearing."
- Sigmund Frued

(Side note: I am fairly confident that some of you, as you're reading this, might think that I'm writing about you, or at you, or because of you. Don't worry, I'm not. The thoughts that prompted the writing of this random, 'sassy pants' post have been stirring around in my brain for a long time, and are added to, or subtracted from, on a daily basis. I pay close attention to interpersonal interactions and communications and these interactions are what made me want to write this. You may notice a reference to a conversation we've had, maybe recently, maybe not recently - don't take it personally. Although I'm basically pointing fingers at the hypothetical recipient of this post [did you notice how it almost seemed to be addressed to a specific person? It wasn't actually addressed to anyone, but written that way intentionally] the entire time, I realize that communication and conversation is a two-way street, which means there is just as much blame to be placed on me for any and all ineffective communication I am a part of. I didn't want to write that half of this post because it never would have ended.)

(New and improved side note: I borrowed, without permission of course, the term 'sassy pants' from the one and only, world famous, unequaled and unparalleled Laura Christopherson, who, being the genius that she is, coined the phrase "sassy pants blog post." Many thanks to her for inventing such a wonderful phrase, and for not being offended [hopefully...] by my stealing of it. Check out her blog! Do it, or I'll judge you.)

1 comment:

Lindsay said...

Kyle! I found this blog to be exactly what I needed to hear/read this morning! Thank you for your incite and words! Everyone had a voice and should have the opportunity to share it!


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